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My Story

I spent a great expanse of my life in torment from not knowing or having connection to my truth. From around the age of 12 to quite recently in my life I didn’t ever feel I was speaking, acting or creating from an authentic place and constantly felt displaced, lost and even deeply ashamed because regardless of how strong my intention was I could feel my energy, voice and whole being was out of alignment. I so desperately yearned to be acknowledged, received and liked yet it usually went the opposite direction because the more I tried to belong and please others, the more lost I became.

Then when I physically stepped into my spiritual path in 2009, I had the discussion about how to find oneself with several different teachers and their response to my question about this was to simply ‘speak your truth’. It sounds incredibly simple yet what flowed through my mind in response was ‘people would hate me even more if I spoke my truth’.
I was withholding such a high amount of pain and suffering that was trying to work its way out of me but knew it was just not acceptable to speak that out loud or project that onto others (I didn’t always succeed).
There was a high level of sensitivity because of emotional wounding, loneliness and a destructive inner dialogue.
There was so much blame within me because I was being controlled directed by fear, resentment and unforgiveness.
There was complete inner destruction taking place because I was completely powerless.

That was what I believed to be my truth.

There’s great suffering in this level of disconnection and shame. It’s an incredibly painful place to be and very few people at that time in my life had the ability to support me or give powerful and effective guidance and reflecting on this I feel like it’s because no one had an answer. They were probably having a similar experience of life and were themselves lost.

Your Pure Truth

It has taken me almost 10 years to really discover the truth about our truth.

There’s a truth that comes from wholeness, from power, from love.
It’s our pure truth.
Our pure truth is the expression of our soul. Our highest truth. It’s the light that flows through into us directly from our soul.
It is the authentic power of our spiritual force.

We can connect with it when we are no longer enslaved to our fear, and we can live by it when we begin to receive the higher frequencies of gratitude, compassion and love.
It’s the truth we are all seeking and it feels most authentic to every fibre of our being when we live through it.

What Isn’t Your Truth

The logical mind has a habit of only seeing what is directly in front of us and what is real for us in the moment.

What is not our truth?
Not the painful and depleting emotions like anger, hatred, fear, resentment, guilt, shame and beyond.
Not the emotional reactions and the projections of energy that explode out of us when we are in fear or pain.
Not the inherited attitudes, the societal conditioning and the deeply ingrained prejudices.
Not the destructive behavioural patterns that have developed from mirroring those around you, from having to protect yourself from pain, from an unresolved past or powerful shadow.
Not the powerlessness you are trying to survive through.
And certainly not fear that attempts to force you into submission, that dominates you and tries to keep you in control through patterns of inner dialogue and behaviours.

Yet we judge these aspects of ourselves. We claim them as our truth. We allow them to direct our way forward and forge our destiny. We get trapped in a cycle of guilt and shame that drives that creates even greater suffering.

But know these feelings, words, thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and anything that ignites painful feelings are not your truth.

They are unresolved emotions and beliefs. They are unmet needs from your past that are responding to current situations. They are the yearning to be loved.
Once you begin to embrace, honour, nourish and resolve those emotional experiences you will start to find your pure truth beginning to emerge.

Discovering & Living Into Your Pure Truth

Once we make a decision to explore and discover the fullest power of our human and soul potential, and we are willing to face the depths of our fear we enter a powerful path of transformation. There's a point in our journey where we are called to begin exploring how we are showing up in the world, not from a place of trying to please others or prove ourselves but because our soul is yearning to authentically express itself.

  1. Become Connected With Yourself
    When we lose connection with your heart, your mind may begin to take control of you and dominate your whole being. Your heart is the centre of your being and we release as well as receive emotional energy through our heart. When we are connected to our heart our mind, heart, body and soul can become aligned and then we are able to express ourselves authentically.
    If you feel disconnected or locked out of yourself then a connection practice is a powerful place to begin your journey of returning to your truth. It can be as simple as breathing through your heart or as complex as guided meditations or shamanic journeying but whatever form of practice you choose, this is potent form of sacred self-care that can change your life.

  2. Take Your Power Back
    When you feel the overwhelming force of chaos, or a wave of destruction rising up in you, step in and claim your power back from it. Strong emotions and thoughts can be incredibly forceful and debilitating yet what I know to be true is that you are more powerful than these experiences because they exist within you.
    Claiming your power back can be practiced in a number of ways and particularly strong emotions will often at first need to be safely released before they erupt out of you and burn yourself and those you love. As you get stronger you will find it possible to release tension using only your breath (most of the time) and eventually you may be able to do that from a small perception shift.
    Claiming your power back begins with awareness, with acknowledging the energetic and emotional forces that are alive within you (without letting it direct you), with changing the pattern of behaviour (regardless of how strong it is) and disrupting the thought patterns. As soon as you begin to break those cycles you will be changing the energy.

  3. Give Yourself Some Space
    It's tempting to rush into our physical, emotional and verbal exchanges. It’s such a strong urge that for many of us it’s habit to give our opinions and to respond to questions immediately, to share our stories before anyone else even speaks or even unleash our emotional state into the world, yet it’s this need to fill the void that can create disconnection and inauthentic action. What if you could give yourself some space? To really listen, breathe, connect in with yourself, sense the energy and explore how you want to respond (from the heart). To allow yourself some space to feel whether there is love or fear in your heart and to bring yourself back into connection before you share your voice with the world.
    How can you use this space? Explore how you feel before you respond, and while it may sound like a great energy burner it doesn’t have to take much time, especially as you get more strongly connected to your pure truth. Feel your words (because words have power), explore whether they feel good in your heart, ask yourself whether it’s coming from love or fear, reflect on whether your words, language or energy reflects your souls honour code.

In Conclusion

If you find yourself analysing everything you say, filtering your words in order to please someone or to prove your worth then, feeling overwhelmed by powerful emotion then sit with it and allow it. Honour that cycle of energy and acknowledge what is alive within you.

The journey to your truth won’t dissolve unresolved experiences but you can move forward without becoming it, without letting it dominate your life. How? through transformation practices (such as ones suggested above), through journalling, through your intention and through your willingness to release what doesn’t serve your highest good.

This is a journey of peeling back your layers of fear so that you can shine through. So you can radiate your authentic force into the world.
Simply by acknowledging the possibility of something different and greater, we begin creating it.


Mikalena KnightComment